Thursday, March 06, 2014

I was five again today...

I was five today, walking up the long walk to a distinguished house that has now been converted into Law offices. This is a house I remember from my childhood that I thought was so beautiful and fancy.  I felt like a child when I pushed open the heavy, glass inlaid door and then sat in the the huge leather chairs that made my feet swing above the floor. Today, I was five again, and I was scared.  I was a little girl about to face the unknown.  To pass the time I admired the gorgeous, antique, cut crystal chandeliers and the architectural gems that the building showcased...but I still felt tiny, small, and alone. But then I remembered...I wasn't alone.  God was there.  Jesus had gone before me.  He had prepared me for just a moment such as this.  He washed me in peace and I didn't cry when it was time to sit across a big table and tell my story to a stranger.  He didn't let me get angry or bitter.  He just held on to me and kept me breathing, even though my feet didn't touch the floor.  It was a horrible day by all accounts but today I didn't not cry so I am counting it in the win category!
For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, 
Do not fear; I will help you. 
~Isaiah 41:13
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9 comments:

Lyndy Duncan said...

I am so sorry you are going through this. I wish I could tell you that there would be no more tears, but this is a process and sometimes the tears even help and are cleansing. I know this, you will find out that you are stronger than you ever thought possible. You have a beautiful future and God is already there. You are doing great, just one day at a time.

Living Life in the Lowcountry said...

I am so sorry you are going through this my friend! You will get through it, hang in there! Still praying for ya!

southern-newlywed said...

Hugs and lots of love.

Rebecca said...

I'm sorry too, that you're facing this tremendous trial. I know the pain... but I love, and appreciate your transparency, your honestly, your "realness." Sharing your story will minister to someone else at some point too. You have so much to give. Love you sweet friend...and no, you are not alone...in
more ways than one.

Southern Lady said...

Praying for you. -Carla

Sues said...

This is so beautifully, honestly written. I'm so very sorry you have to experience anything that makes you feel this way. *hugs*

Sonia said...

Prayers for you that God continues to comfort and carry you through each day with grace and calm!
Miss Bloomers

jennlowe66 said...

Michelle,
I don't know you personally, only from reading your blog over the past few years but I just wanted you to know that I'm praying for you. This post especially touched my heart and brought me to tears. God bless you! Better days are coming!

jennlowe66 said...

Michelle,
I don't know you personally, only through reading your blog over the years but my heart goes out to you for the pain you're experiencing. I don't know the circumstances but please know that I'm praying for you. it speaks volumes of the honesty and beauty of your writing that I feel like I "know" as I've followed you and your journey since 2009 when I found your blog. This post especially touched my heart and brought me to tears. Better days are coming! God bless!